Broken
by CaityCullen99
Summary: I closed my eyes, pushing away the tears and trying my best to face the truth. I was horible, ugly. Never again would I be the Girl on Fire. I would not blaze with rebellious flames or feel power and strength when I held a bow. Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! So this story is about Peeta and Katniss after the rebellion and how they start rebuilding their lives. My last fic was little more cute and funny and I wanted to start a more serious story. It's rated T for now, but that may change in later chapters. Hope you like it!**

It was the first time I had looked in a mirror in months. My hair, my beautiful wavy hair was now matted, tangled into knots like the rest of my body. My skin looked a lot like a quilt my mother had made me when I was young. There were even some places where you could see the stitches. I felt fragile, like if someone would touch me, not that anyone would ever want to do that anymore, I would break.

I closed my eyes, pushing the tears away and trying my best to face the truth. I was horrible, ugly. Never again would I be the Girl on Fire. I would not blaze with rebellious flames or feel power and strength course through my veins when I held a bow.

I felt myself sink to the ground, face falling into my hands. I let my eyes close and the faces of the people I loved and lost torment me. Prim's little face whirled around in my head, causing me to whimper in pain. Her eyes were bright and she was laughing, then right in front of my eyes, her petite little body was blown to a million pieces.

My father, gasping for air down in a musty coal mine, his voice no longer beautiful, but clouded with filthy, toxic air. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but all that came out was loud moans. I thought I couldn't bare it anymore at that point, but the last face that haunted me finally caused me to break, screaming out in pain with tears flowing down my face.

Peeta plodded around the bakery. There was a smudge of purple frosting on his cheek and his blue eyes were shining with love as they recognized me. Then his body twisted, contorting into something abused and almost unrecognizable. His face was bloodied and dirty and he was choking on his own blood. His eyes were dark, hatred shining through like a stain on a perfectly white shirt.

My eyes flew open. I was lying on the ground, my eyes pouring tears down my blotchy red face. I had been screaming so loud my throat burned whenever I breathed. I sat up, burying my face in between my knees and curling my arms around my legs.

I don't know how long I had been there, sitting in the bathroom. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. The walls were closing in on me. I felt blackness creep up all around me, trying to overtake me like always. I looked now to the scars I had put on my body. I don't know how many times in the past month I have tried to end it all. I could never go through with any of them. Every little thing I tried just pulled me further into the darkness. I didn't hear the heavy, uneven steps coming up the stairs. Didn't see the bathroom door swing open as it almost hit me in the head.

"Oh my God." That voice. The voice that haunted me everywhere I went. The one that I had not heard since I had shot a President that I didn't trust. The one that used to love me with all its heart and soul. Peeta Mellark. "Katniss?" he was kneeling next to me, prying my hands away from my face.

I couldn't look at him, not after everything I had done to him. He would have been better off dead, never reaped at all. I would have preferred both of us dead. His hands were warm and gentle as they guided my face up to meet his.

"Katniss, baby, please answer me. Are you alright?" Peeta. My Peeta. I opened my eyes to stare at him. Blue oceans of bleakness. Waves of worry. Currents of concern.

"Peeta," I mumbled, trying to see through the darkness. He was glowing, trying to stop it from taking me. His eyes widened and he pulled me close to him.

"What's the matter Kat?" he pleaded. "Why were you screaming like that?"My Peeta. Only my Peeta would call me Kat. When had he come back to me? Why hadn't he come check on me earlier? Show me that he was his normal self again.

Then I was swallowed up by the shadows of hate.

**Peeta's POV**

She fainted. I felt my breathing quicken a little. I can't do this. What if I hurt her again? What if she doesn't want me here? My doctor says questions that begin with What If are bad; that they should be ignored. I look down at Katniss. I swallow hard and resisted the urge to vomit.

What if she's dead?

No! I will not let that happen. They have taken everything from me. Everything. I will not let them have her. As gently as possible I lift her into my arms, like a father carrying his new baby. She is way too light. She needs food, water. She needs to be loved.

I don't know if I can do that.

I set her down in her bed, pulling the covers up around her. Barely touching her, I brush my fingertips across her forehead. She feels like the bakery fires. The Girl on Fire. Literally.

I feel it coming and squeeze my eyes shut against it. I can't let it take me when she needs me. The real me. The me that loves her.

I pull up the chair in her room next to the foot of her bed. I will not leave her side until she wakes up. I sit with her for one hour. Two. Three. Four. Five. Eventually I put my arms down on her bed. My head droops down to rest on them and then I'm asleep.

I hate sleeping. My dreams are full of confusion. Real or Not Real? Real or Not Real? One minute I see Katniss leaning in to kiss me. Her lips look so soft and warm and I close my eyes in anticipation. Then I feel a sharp, shooting pain. She is smiling cruelly and there is a arrow sticking out of my chest.

Katniss and I are laughing in the bakery. I'm trying to teach her how to bake. I correct the way she holds the frosting bag. She slaps me, telling me I'm a worthless pig. Just like my mother used to. I'm a waste of air. I'm a mutt and a disgrace to her. She could never love someone like eyes slowly opened and I tasted blood on my tongue. I had been biting down on it. It happens a lot. Katniss is still sleeping. 3:33 am. She's lucky to be asleep still.

I can't help myself from staring at her. I don't know how much more time I will have as myself. She looks broken. But she's still my Mockingjay. She's still the reason I take my pills and listen as hard as I can to my doctors, and try to rebuild my life from the ruins I found it in when I woke up in District 13.

I drift in and out of fitful bursts of sleep. Every time I awake she is still asleep. At 5:33 the birds begin to sing. I listen to their little voices. My Katniss puts those birds to shame. Even so they are beautiful and bright in a world of ever-present darkness.

There is movement in the bed and I sit up, rubbing my sore cheek. It had been resting on my arm all night. Katniss is beginning to stir. I don't know how to not startle her so I go back to my earlier position. I close my eyes, laying my head back on my arms. The bed sheets shuffle around me and it takes everything I have not to open my eyes.

"Peeta?" she sounds confused, like she doesn't remember what happened. I slowly open my eyes and sit up. I take her hand gently.

"Katniss!" I say, sounding more relieved that I thought I would. "I was so worried." Then, she starts to cry.

"Stop it Peeta. This is so cruel. I know you don't like me, but this is terrible!" I feel my face slip into a frown. What?

"Kat," I say gently, stroking her cheek with my fingertips. She flinches.

"No," she says, turning away from me. "Stop it right now. There's no way you could still love me. Not after all I've put you through. This is just the Hijacking abusing me." I shake my head.

"Kat no, baby." I beg. "It- it's not your fault. Really it's not." There's a voice in my head screaming that this IS all her fault. That I should hate her. That I should have left her there on that bathroom floor to-

"You better stop it Peeta Mellark," she cried, tears flowing down her cheeks. "You better stop it right now or I'm going to smack you." I drop her hand, scooting away from her a little bit.

"Katniss, I know you're hurting. But they cannot take you away from me. Your mine and I love you. The Capitol could never take that from me." She is crying harder now, but I cannot stop yet. She has to know how much she means to me. "You and Haymitch are the only people I have left. You have to believe me baby. I love you. I always have I always will. You are still beautiful and strong and proud to me. And it doesn't matter what anyone else says." We lock eyes for a minute and then she throws herself at me. She is gasping and crying and I open my arms and encircle her in them.

"Peeta." She wails. "My Peeta."Her Peeta? She must know now. She has to realize that I'm fighting the Hijacking the best I can.

That I'm slowly but surely becoming the person I was before; no matter how broken.

**Hope you liked it! Please review and tell me if I should continue. It really means a lot to authors if you review. Thanks for reading. The next chapter should be up by Tuesday at the latest if you're interested! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey! Sorry for those of you who have been waiting for this chapter. I know I said I would have it up on Tuesday, but I didn't expect my teacher's to bury me alive with homework.**_

_**I wanted to thank my first few reviewers: **_

_**Anosa**_

_**Fanpire4000**_

_**Pjoandggandhgfan (sorry if that name is spelled a little wrong. I'm not really sure)! They really inspired me to keep going with this story and it was great getting such nice reviews. Thanks guys **_

_**This chapter is in all Katniss's POV but there will be more from Peeta's mind too. The song that Katniss sings in this chapter is from . It the lyrics are not mine, I just borrowed them from the website. I DO NOT own the Hunger Games and I'm saying I do with this story. I hope you like it!**_

KATNISS POV

"Peeta," I whispered. He looked down at me. "Why are you here?" He bit his lip. I kept my eyes on his, waiting for an answer.

"Because," he sighed. "Because I want to be me again. I always feel like me when I'm with you. It feels normal, like we're going to be leaving for the Victory Tour in the morning. I decided last night that I don't like hearing you scream anymore." His eyes were fading away, staring at something in the distance. He kept talking and I listened to every word he said. "Every night I lie in bed, not wanting to close my eyes. I know eventually that you will start screaming. When you do I crawl out of bed and sit up against my wall. It's right across from yours. I didn't think you noticed. I always listened to you; making sure that you were still alive." A tear leaked down his cheek and I reached up to brush it away. He flinched, leaning away from me. "Don't." His eyes were closed tight.

"Peeta," I said, reaching my hand out to touch his cheek.

"I said don't!" Peeta said, angrily pushing away my hand. I clutched it to my chest, scooting away from him a little. His hands clenched into fists and he gritted his teeth. His whole body was shaking.

"Peeta, stop. You're scaring me," I whispered. Then I remembered when this had happened before. We were stuck in the Capitol sewer system, running from deranged mutts. Peeta had told me and the rest of the team to leave him there. I couldn't do that. I can't do it now. I gently put m hands on either side of his face. "Peeta, open your eyes." I demanded.

"Mutt," he growled at me. "Leave me alone." His eyes shone just like in my dreams and I didn't know how much longer I could do this.

"Not real," I said, gently stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Come back to me Peeta."

"Katniss?" his eyes were wide and watery. He was fighting it. "Katniss, I_". Then he was gone again, eyes closed. I sighed. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

"We're both shaped like starts that cross in the sky, our love hides away, only comes out at night. When the sky turns to black and you gaze into the night I know I'm under the same sky. I'm under the same sky."

I haven't sung since the day I returned to District 12 with the rebels. I make up the song now, thinking of words that describe how I'm feeling. Peeta's eyes glaze over and they look into mine. It has to be working.

"Although they've taken you away from me I'll find my way back, even if others don't agree. I can't stay here or make it through the night. I clutch this pearl to remember you by."

"I'm sorry." I looked at Peeta. He was crying. "I'm sorry." I pulled him tight against me. Because, no matter how many times I had to do this, I would never stop if it meant keeping the real Peeta.

"Shh," I whispered, stroking his blonde curls. "You didn't do anything wrong Peeta." We sat like that for a while, me holding Peeta in my arms. It is quiet. Not just in the house, but out on the streets of District 12. Everywhere. Then a Mockingjay lands on the tree branch outside my window. It sings four little notes, loud and clear. And those four notes send me flying back in time.

"_Here," a little dark-skinned girl said as we sat in a tree. "I'll teach you a special code. That way we'll always know that the other is safe." Rue smiled over at me and then licked her lips. Four sharp notes flew through her lips and into the air. "No you try." _

_I copied her tune gently at first, the first two notes soft. When I saw her nod I finished the tune loudly. _

"_Perfect," I said. "No one will be able to tell the difference from us and the birds." _

"Katniss?" One of Peeta's strong hands was gently rubbing my arm. I blinked and turned away from Peeta and the little bird. I felt the walls closing in on me. My breathing quickened and I began to feel cold. Peeta looked around at me, gently grabbing one of my hands. They were shaking. "Hey, what's wrong?" I tried to slow down my breathing.

"I- I can't breathe!" I gasped. I tried to stand up, but my knees were shaking. "I need air." Peeta was off the bed in a second, one of his hands on my back, the other guiding me with our linked hands. He led me out of the bedroom and, somehow, down the stairs. When we got to the front room I broke free of his hold, needing the air so much it hurt. I flung open the door and ran out into my yard.

I flopped down onto my knees in the dead grass. I took deep, slow breaths. The grass dug into my legs, knives poking into my skin. It was dead, like everything else around it. Peeta's heavy footsteps slowly made their way over to me and he sat down next to me.

"You okay?" He asked, brushing some stray hair out of my face. I nodded, leaning in to Peeta. "Come on; let's go over to my house." He helped me up and we slowly walked together across the path. I felt like a vegetable as I walked, mind not thinking, and body not feeling. I was just going through the motions. Peeta opened the front door for me and waited for me to walk in. The house was dark. I looked up at him, my face blank. He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

"Wow." There were paintings everywhere. They were all beautiful. A perfect replication on the front view of Mellark's-Peeta's family's bakery- hung on the wall that led into the den. I couldn't help but stop and look at it. You could even see the perfectly frosted cakes in the window. There was a bright picture of the Capitol lights from the roof of the Tribute Training Center and a fluffy looking flower swaying in a warm spring breeze.

"Do you like them?" Peeta asked a little shyly. I looked over at him, standing by his black leather couch. I nodded and he smiled.

Peeta Mellark's smile is something that I simply cannot describe. It his bright and can make anyone else smile, but it is also tentative and soft. His cheeks glow with a healthy pink color and his blue eyes set ablaze. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can see the ocean through his eyes. My smile was nowhere near as amazing. It cannot even begin to compare to his. But he still see's mine as superior.

"I love them. You are very talented Peeta," I said. I was starting to feel again.

"Thanks," he said, heat creeping up into his face. He looked embarrassed as his sudden change of color and turned towards the attached kitchen. "Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate?" I sat down on his couch, leaning my head on the back so I was facing the kitchen.

"Um," I said. I felt ashamed at myself. When was the last time I had even thought about eating? "I guess it's been a while," I finally mumbled, playing with one of my jagged fingernails. Peeta smiled sadly, and turned to his oven. He lit the fire and began searching around in his cabinets for supplies.

"Make yourself at home Kat," he said, already soaked up in making fresh bread dough. I looked around his living room thoughtfully. I had never been in his house before. It seemed big and lonely. I recalled him telling me that no one in his family had moved in with him besides his next oldest brother. I looked over at the side table. He had a telephone sitting there on top of a small leather-bound book. At the same moment I reached out to grab it Peeta looked up to check on me. "Don't!" I pulled my hand away.

"Okay!" It was awkwardly quiet for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." Peeta said. "It's just, that's not something I think you need to see right now. That's my therapy notebook."

"Oh," I said quietly. "Ok. I get it. Thanks for explaining to me."

"Come here, Katniss," Peeta said gently. He was getting ready to put the bread dough in the oven and he held a small part in his hand. I walked over to him and he held the bread out to me. I opened my mouth and he set it on my tongue gently. He was smiling gently, his eyes shining with happiness. This was the boy that I had fallen in love with. "Does it taste okay?" He asked, almost shyly.

"It's great," I said smiling for him. He blushed a little and turned to put the bread into the oven. While it cooked we sat on the couch. Once again it was silent. I looked over at Peeta. He had been looking at me and he smiled a little, moving his gaze to the floor politely. Suddenly I needed his arms around me. I needed to feel that everything could be ok again, no matter how dark it seemed now. I scooted close to him a little and his eyes slowly crept up to me again. I looked at the picture of the flower hanging across the wall from me, but still scooted closer. While I was doing this, Peeta was shifting too, slowly letting his arms fall to his sides, making a spot for me.

Soon we were sitting so close our legs were almost touching. Peeta's eyes were resting on me now, reading my movements. I decided to just go for it. I scooted a little closer so our legs were touching. Peeta gently lifted up his arm and put it around my shoulders. He was barely touching me. I grabbed his hand and pulled it down so it was resting on me fully. Peeta smiled as I curled up against him.

"Is this okay?" I asked quietly, leaning my head against his chest. He nodded and let his chin rest on the top of my head.

"This is perfect."

_**That's it! Hope you liked it. I promise this time that the next chapter will be up by Tuesday. Please Review! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY GUYS! ONCE AGAIN SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, BUT TO SHOW MY COMMITMENT TO THE STORY I'M GOING TO PUT THE NEXT CHAPTER UP WITHING THE NEXT FEW DAYS! I DO HAVE A PLOT LINE IN MIND, SO BEAR WITH ME AS I WORK OUT THE KINKS! THANKS TO ALL MY AMAZING REVIEWERS AGAIN! THEY REALLY MOTIVATE ME. I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ITS CHARACTERS. THEY BELONG TO SUZANNE COLLINS. HERE WE GO!**

_**KATNISS POV**_

Our plates sat in the kitchen sink, the crumbs leaving a trail on the counter. Peeta and I were sitting together under a blanket on his couch. The TV was on some cheesy Capitol show that was supposed to be a comedy.

"This is do dumb," I said, wrinkling my nose in disgust. Peeta's head was on my shoulder. He smiled a little.

"It's not that bad," he said gently. I looked down at him, his blonde curls blocking some of my view. His blue eyes were so bright, full of life.

I never thought I would see Peeta like this again. When we came home he was rock hard, an emotionless expression always on his face. It made me sad. I had caused him to be like this. I had let them take him away from me.

Peeta had lived all for me for the past 13 years, so why wouldn't it be my turn? I had to try to get better. For him. I could focus on getting him well, returning him to normal. I could live my life to help Peeta remember his. I bit my lip, hoping this wouldn't fly out of my brain the next time the darkness overcame me.

"Katniss?" Peeta asked. He had asked me a question but I didn't hear it.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"You should probably head home soon. It's getting late," he said thoughtfully.

"Yeah," I whispered, looking down at the floor. "I guess so." It was quiet. I could see the nightmares flashing behind my eyelids, the darkness flowing like a river around them.

"Or..." Peeta said unsurely, trailing off with a shake of his head. I looked up at him. His arms were crossed and he had been watching me with gentle eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"You could stay," he said quickly.

_**PEETA POV**_

I knew as soon as the words left my lips that I she would refuse. Her grey eyes grew very wide and she took a step back, towards the hallway. I bit my lip, looking down for a second.

"Oh," she said breathlessly. "You know, we shouldn't push it. Well, I'll see you tomorrow Peeta." She said so quickly I could barely understand her. "Maybe." It was a whisper. And then she turned and walked briskly down the hall. I heard the front door slam shut.

'_Damn.' _I thought. I had scared her away. I frowned and walked to my studio. The word still sounded strange in my mind. I was so used to having a table and plain paper to paint on. Now I had all the paint I could ever need, an easel, and unlimited canvas paper. I sat down and grabbed a brush, letting the images fill my head.

I felt my hand start to move across the paper. The lines were small, but hard and angry. My brother used to tease me about how I painted with my eyes closed, saying that I had see-through eyelids. I didn't. I saw something in my mind and let my hand copy it. I felt a hot tear fall down my cheek and I wiped at it angrily. I had hurt Katniss. The only girl I had ever loved was scared of me. She had finally realized that she loved me too, and the Capitol took that away from me. What else could they take? They had my family, Katniss, my leg, and me. They had me, the real me, trapped in that room where blood stained the walls and screams echoed all around me.

I opened my eyes to look at the canvas. It was dark, maroon splatters lying around the room's walls. A boy sat in the corner, curled into a ball. His face didn't show, but his blonde hair was matted and stained red. I knew the expression that would be on his face. It was one I had worn many times, in a room just like this one. I felt more tears now. I leaned my head down on the easel, putting my head on my arms.

I hated crying. It made me feel weak, like someone could easily walk up behind me and hurt me and I wouldn't even try to fight it. I rubbed at my eyes angrily. Why did this happen to me? I wish my name had never been reaped; that I had never been sent to the Games. I wish that I didn't fall in love with Katniss Everdeen. If I didn't love her none of this would have happened. I knew as soon as I finished my thought I knew that it was not true. I would never regret loving Katniss, no matter what happen to the two of us. It wasn't her fault. It would never be her fault.

There was paint all over my face and my arms. I shut the light off and closed my studio door shut tight. The stairs creaked as I walked up them, reminding me how alone I was. Katniss. Her name starts a wildfire of emotion in my head. Thousands of images flash through my head. Katniss kissing me, Katniss hunting, Katniss saving my life in the arena. Katniss shooting _me_ with her arrow, and Katniss chocking _me_ until I couldn't breathe. I was on the top step when I sank down to my knees. I couldn't tell the difference anymore. So many things zoomed in front of my eyes that I felt sick. The room started to spin and I put my hands in my face, covering my eyes.

I don't know how long I had to sit like that- curled up on the top step of the stairs- until the images finally stopped. I was sweating and nauseous and felt terrible. This was not the worst it could get. I had had lapses that had been much, much worse. Sometimes I got physically sick; so sick I couldn't walk or feed myself for a day at least. I sighed, standing up slowly.

I took a quick shower and put on my ratty old sweats that I always sleep in. When I walked into my room it was 12:00. I stood staring at my bed, dreading the moment that I would lay in it and try to sleep. I didn't like to sleep anymore. When I worked at Mellark's I cherished every extra moment of sleep I got. Now I just wished I never had to sleep. I reluctantly climbed in and turned off the light, but not until I opened my window. I couldn't sleep without it open. It got too hot. I like to smell the fresh air. I didn't like feeling trapped.

Just as I closed my eyes I heard a soft, muffled scream. I knew it was her immediately. I crawled out of bed, my eyes burning with tiredness, and leaned up against the wall under my window. I rested my chin on my knees and let my eyes slip closed. I wondered if she was dreaming about me. I always dreamed about her. Someone hurting her; myself hurting her. She was crying now, crying and screaming in fear.

"Oh Katniss," I whispered, my voice breaking along with my heart. I heard a door open somewhere and I felt my eyebrows pull together. Was she going somewhere? I couldn't bring myself to look into her window.

I jumped at the loud pounding that was coming from downstairs. The door I stood up slowly, walking down the stairs. As I got closer I heard one last bang and then it was quiet. I jogged to the door now, knowing who was standing there. When I threw open the door I thought that she had left.

I almost tripped over her when I stepped forward. She was kneeling on my doorstep, her face in her hands, shaking. She was crying, making a horrible throaty noise. I sighed and kneeled down on one knee next to her. Gently I placed one of my hands on her back and rubbed it comfortingly. She looked up at me, her face stained with tears. Before I could even blink she threw herself against me, trying to curl up into me. I was startled for a second and I started to see the images flashing through my head. I clenched my jaw and pushed the images away. Katniss needed me right now. I slowly, a little unsurely, wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me.

"I-I'm sorry Peeta," she sobbed, soaking my bare chest with her tears. "I'm so sorry." What was she sorry about? Showing up at my door in the middle of the night? I had told her that I always listen to her when she has nightmares. I looked down at her, curled against my chest. She looked fragile, small. This was not the Katniss I loved. Something had genuinely scared her. Her eyes met mine and she whimpered a little. I pulled her closer to me, putting a hand on the back of her head. When she had stopped crying I gently lifted her into my arms and carried her, bridal style, into the house.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked as I laid her down on the couch. She shook her head, trying to hide her face for me. I placed my hand on her small arm. It felt cold. "Are you alright Katniss?" I asked. It was quiet. I thought she had fallen asleep and I stood up.

"Wait!" She sounded broken, afraid. "Stay Peeta! Please! I need you to stay with me." I was at her side again, holding her hand.

"Whatever you need, Kat." She pulled me up onto the couch and I lay against the back. She curled into my arms. I tensed, trying to keep the images away.

"Peeta?" Her voice brought me back from the edge. It was quiet and scared. My eyes flew open.

"I'm sorry," I said. She nodded, leaning her head into my chest.

"Are you alright?" She asked as my eyes started to flutter closed. I nodded, mumbling something incoherently. I felt her hand float up to my cheek as I drifted to sleep.

"I love you Peeta Mellark."

**THAT'S IT! WHAT WILL PEETA THINK OF KATNISS'S CONFESSION? GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO READ TO FIND OUT! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! AND KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, IT WILL BE UPLOADED SOON! REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY GUYS! I WAS KIND OF DISAPPOINTED WITH THE REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER. THE LAST TIME I CHEKCED THERE WAS ONLY 2 NEW REVIEWS. I PROMISED THIS CHAPTER WOULD BE EARLY, BUT I HELD IT BACK A FEW DAYS BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE REVIEW THING. THE NEXT ONE SHOULD BE UP BY THURSDAY. THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO DID REVIEW. THEY ARE SOME OF MY CONSTANT READERS. I DON'T OWN THE HUNGER GAMES. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**

**PEETA POV**

The sweet song of a bird whistling woke me up in the morning. I was still on the couch, crushed up against the back. Katniss was in stirring also in my arms, turning in towards me. I smiled a little. No nightmares. Just like before. 'Real or Not Real?' I thought. Katniss's eyes opened slowly and she looked down when she saw me looking at her. She sat up and got off the couch. I sat up, looking up at her. She was looking at the ground. Her face was hard.

"Um," she said awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it. Best sleep I've gotten since we've been home," I said, trying to sound at ease. It sounded more forced than I hoped for.

"Yeah well you always were good at comforting me," she said. She sounded like herself. She started walking to the door and I gently followed her.

"Can_" I said, but then stopped. She turned to look at me, her eyes guarded. Then I realized why she was acting so hard. She was protecting herself. She didn't know if I had heard her say she loved me last night and she didn't want to lose me again. I was finally able to read her expressions again. "Can I walk you home?" She nodded and I opened the door for her. It was quiet as we walked across the yard to her house. I watched her hair swing in the wind. Even matted and unwashed it was still beautiful. I felt myself reaching up to touch it. She whipped around to look at me. Her eyes were questioning. She had thought I was going to hurt her. I took a step back, looking at the dirt path.

"Don't ever cut your hair Katniss," I whispered. "Please? It's beautiful." Katniss was looking at me with tears in her eyes. She reached out for me, touching me like you would an injured animal. Her little hand closed around mine.

"Ok," she said. We kept walking and when we got to her door we dropped hands. I didn't know how to tell her. It just came out.

"I heard you last night," I said, biting my lip. "When you said you…" I trailed off. I had meant to be smoother than that.

"When I said I loved you," she finished for me.

"You said that, Real or Not Real?" I asked.

"Real." It was a whisper, a feather blowing in the wind. I looked up at her then. She tried to smile. It looked sort of like a smirk. A memory flashed across my mind. That was how Katniss always smiled. A smirk. I smiled then, a real smile. I pulled her close to me, not caring about being gentle. We broke away, our eyes meeting shyly. She opened her unlocked door and started to step inside.

"Katniss," I called after her. She turned around, looking a little out of breath. "I- I love you."

"I love you too Peeta."

**KATNISS POV**

I was looking into the mirror again, this time for a new purpose. What did Peeta see in me? What does he still see in me; after all I've done to him? My hair was ratty and looked dirty. It definitely wasn't beautiful. My skin was not smooth or soft anymore, but then again neither was his. Images of fire mutts flashed through my brain and I shuddered. I was plain.

I decided I wanted to go into town. To see how it was being rebuilt. I don't remember how long ago the remaining town's members had returned. A month maybe? I turned on the shower, stripping free of my wrinkled clothes. I tried not to look at my scared body in the mirror. I took my time washing my hair, trying to detangle it. I scrubbed my skin clean until it smelled fresh. I hadn't cleaned myself up in a while. I wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel and walked barefoot into my room. I hadn't opened this part of my closet since I brought Annie Odair here to find a wedding dress. The clothes that Cinna had designed for me. I slipped on fresh underclothes and found a pair of beige capris. They had been small on me then, now they were at least one size too big. I found a plain orange shirt and slipped it over my head. There was a brush sitting on my vanity, something I hadn't used in a month at least. I pulled it gently through my hair now, trying to untangle the mess. I was surprised when I was finished. It was its natural curly style, flowing down my back. I didn't put make-up on. I never do.

I wondered if I should ask Peeta to come with me. Would he be able to handle seeing the sight of Mellark's burned to the ground? That was his home. I didn't want to lose him, not when I was finally getting him back. I decided to ask him. He would know if he could stand the trip.

I walked over to Peeta's house, the gravel crunching familiarly beneath my boots. My hair blew around my face and I wished I had braided it. I didn't want it to tangle again. My pink splotchy skin burned a little from the sun, but I ignored it. Maybe it would return to a normal color if it saw sunlight more. I knocked on his door, feeling my stomach do a flip. I couldn't help but feel that this was what it could have been like. If we were never reaped we could have fallen in love slowly, shyly. There was no answer. I knocked again and the house stayed quiet. I felt my eyebrows pull together in confusion. I walked around to the back of the house. I saw his blonde curls sitting in the far corner of the yard, blown by the wind. I straightened out my hair and walked over slowly so I wouldn't catch him off guard.

I knew something was wrong as I got closer. He wasn't moving. It was quiet.

"Peeta?" I asked gently. He didn't move to look at me. I walked over to his side. His eyes were blank, staring at something I couldn't see. I touched his arm lightly, causing him to jump out of his skin.

"Katniss!" he gasped. "Sorry. I- I was just," he paused.

"It's alright," I said. He noticed my appearance.

"You look really good," he said. "You cleaned up didn't you?" I nodded, blushing a little. One of his rough fingers curled around a strand of my hair. I took a seat next to him, looking out into the forest.

"I was thinking of going into town," I said. My heart ached. "You know, to see how the rebuild is going. I haven't seen it yet."

"Me either. Haymitch has been trying to tell me about it, but I'm not sure if I wanna hear it." I nodded.

"Would you like to come with me?" I asked, picking at the grass. "Maybe we could face it together."Peeta was silent for a minute and I watched the wind blow his hair.

"Sure," he said. "Maybe that would be good for me... for us." I followed him into his house and waited for him to get dressed. I saw that notebook sitting on the table. This time it was open. I knew Peeta didn't want me to read it. It couldn't help but catch the few words on the open page.

Katniss is not a mutt. Katniss loves me. I am a mutt. How can she love me?

I frowned. There was more on the page, but I stopped reading. Those were his private thoughts. It was a good thing I stopped because I heard Peeta's familiar, heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Ready?" I asked, standing up quickly as he came into the room. I felt bad for reading part of his notebook. He looked at me a little unsurely.

"Yeah," he said.

We walked quietly towards the town. I bit my lip as we neared the edge. I could see Peeta craning his neck. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted to see where Mellark's had been. I grabbed his hand gently and he squeezed mine so tight I thought it might cut off the circulation. I gently brushed my thumb across the back of his hand and he let loose a little. I could see where Mellark's had been. As soon as Peeta saw it he let go of my hand and started running. He stopped where the steps started to crumble away to almost nothing. I walked towards him, speeding up as he sank slowly to the ground. When I got to his side his face was in his hands. I didn't know what to do. I kneeled down next to him, sitting on my knees.

"Peeta," I whispered. He didn't move. "I'm right here Peeta, ok?" I asked gently. He nodded, keeping his face in his hands. I put my hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at me. Tears were streaming out of his bright blue eyes, falling onto his shirt.

He looks so young when he cries. It makes it hard for me to understand how anyone could hurt him. I opened my arms up and he crawled over to me, leaning his head against my chest. He was shaking. I brought one of my hands up to his face, holding him to me. He had wrapped his arms around my waist. When he had stopped crying I helped him up and we walked down the path to the main road together. When we got back to the road he stopped to take one last look. I grabbed his hand gently.

"Are you alright Peeta?" I asked. He shook his head, closing his eyes. We began walking forward, away from his memories. I hoped he wasn't going to have a hijacking attack. The town was demolished; worse than the Seam had been before. We had all been used to the Town being sparkling and clean compared to the Seam. Now it was just piles of rubble. I looked over at Peeta.

I shouldn't have brought him. He wasn't ready for this. He had grown up here, known all the families that lived in the shops. Almost all of the Townies had died. Peeta didn't know very many survivors. He lost everything. His eyes were flashing around the street. The butcher shop, the seamstress, the depot store; all were blown to pieces. He stopped in front of a particular building. It was one of the luckier ones, charcoaled but not completely gone like the bakery.

"Oh my god," Peeta said. He was walking forward, towards the opening where a door had once been.

"Peeta," I called after him as he stepped inside. "Peeta! Don't go in there, it's dangerous." He was already gone. I sighed and followed him in. I was surprised at what I saw. The inside was still almost fully intact. I remembered this building now. The Blacksmith. I saw Peeta standing by what looked like a table. He had ventured through the store and into the blacksmith's home.

I stepped over charred furniture and ashy welding tools. Peeta had picked something up off of the table and was looking down blankly at it. I slowly walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder. It was a picture, in a carved wooden frame. It was too young faces laughing into the camera. One had bright blue eyes, curly ash blonde hair, and the cutest smile a child could have. Peeta. His little cheeks were rosy with joy and he was laughing over at the other boy.

I knew this boy too. Everyone knew this boy. He had unmistakable dark locks and emerald green eyes. Freckles dotted his perfect nose and he had his arm around Peeta, laughing along with him. This was Micah Hansen. Micah was the kid that everyone wanted to be friends with. The goofy kid that could make anything fun. Peeta's eyes were watering. He sank down to his knees, clutching the picture to his chest.

"Peeta," I whispered. He was crying hard now. Suddenly I remembered. They were best friends; always by each other's side. If Peeta was at the bakery Micah would be there to, keeping him company while he frosted the cakes. If Micah was delivering something for his father, Peeta would tag along.

"Katniss," Peeta gasped. "Is he alive? Have you seen him? Please tell me that he's not gone." I bit my lip. I hadn't seen Micah. I hadn't seen him since before our first games. Of course there was a chance he could be alive, but it wasn't a good one. Micah was the kind of person who wasn't afraid to fight for what he thought was right. Micah had probably been assigned to a group of rebels, if he had even escaped the fire. There was no chance he could have survived all that. Peeta noticed that I hadn't answered him. "Katniss?" He asked, tears mixing with the ash smearing his face.

"I don't know Peeta," I said. I was crying now. I wished that I could tell him the Micah was alive. That he had survived, like us, because he was a part of Peeta. Micah was like a brother to Peeta. If I, an unsocial girl from the Seam, could see that, then anyone could. "I don't know!" I sat down next to Peeta and we cried.

I wasn't crying only for Micah. I was crying for Peeta, for Prim, for everyone who I had hurt to save my own life. Micah Hansen had been killed because of me, just like everyone else from the town. Even people from my own family were gone because of me. Eventually it got dark and the stars came out. We stopped crying. The only thing I knew was that Peeta's arms were around me and his tears had made my shirt cold. A shadow appeared in the doorway, a light shining from its hand.

"Come on," the gruff voice said. "Let's go kiddos." I felt a rough hand pulling me up. Then Peeta was standing beside me. The shadow led us out into the night, back towards the Victor's Village. I only realized who it was when we headed for the only other occupied house in the Village.

Haymitch.

**THAT'S IT! PLEASE REVIEW, IT REALLY MOTIVATES ME TO UPDATE FASTER. SUGGESTIONS? LEAVE ME A REVIEW OR PM ME! KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi Everyone. I know I haven't updated this story in forever, but I am continuing with it. The next chapter to my story BURNED will also be up in the next few days. Here is the chapter! I don't own the Hunger Games or its characters! The song is part of Josh Groban's song, **_**To Where You Are. **_**I just changed it up a little. Hope you like it!**

CHAPTER 5

His house is dark, smelly, and- to tell the truth- disgusting; but somehow it feels like a safe place. Peeta and I sit down on the old couch and Haymitch sits across from us. He looks at us, eyes searching deep into ours. I sneak a look at Peeta. I wish I didn't. His eyes are red and still watery. He still grasps the picture from Micah's house in his hands, but Haymitch ignores it for now. Peeta looks terrible and I'm sure I look just the same. We are both covered in thick sheets of ash and grime. So much for my shower lasting a few days.

"What did you think you were doing?" He asked. His was question as directed to both of us, but his hard eyes were on me. "Don't you know what could have happened if that old building fell in on you?" Peeta and I are silent. The danger hadn't crossed Peeta's mind and I see his eyes flash quickly to me. In response to his worry I grab his hand and nod solemnly. Haymitch looks at our linked hands for a second and then looks back to us.

"I wanted to go into to town, to see the rebuild. I asked Peeta to come with me and he agreed. We decided that maybe we could face it together. But," I stop. Haymitch lifts an eyebrow.

"We got lost in memories." Peeta's voice was quiet and hollow. I squeeze his hand and I am relieved when he squeezes back. Haymitch looks at us one last time.

"I don't want you two going there again unless I am with you. Got it?" Peeta nods, but I'm not so quick to agree.

"We're not children Haymitch," I say. He answers right away.

"But you are. Only 17? Not even legal yet," He says.

"Peeta will be eighteen soon," I say a little more coldly than I intended. Peeta looks over at me with questioning eyes.

"You know my birthday?" He asks. I nod gently.

"May 11th." I catch a hint of a smile after I answer.

"Well Peeta already agreed. I expect that means you will eventually agree too. Go home," He says the first sentence a little gruffly, but his voice softens. "You two could use a shower. And some sleep." We stand and Haymitch walks us to the door. It is quiet.

"Thank you," I say to him. He nods and I know what he would be saying. _'That's what the three of us do; we look out for each other'._ I hold Peeta's hand as we walk across to the next house, which is his. When we get to his doorstep I stand on my tip-toes to kiss his cheek. He blinks, but doesn't smile. How could he? What must he be feeling right now? I ruffle his dusty hair and start to turn to walk to my house. I make it down the steps and a few feet towards my house before I hear his heavy feet following me. It has started to rain and I jump as thunder crashes above us.

"Katniss," I hear his voice, barely a yell. I turn to look at him. He is standing in between his porch and where I'm standing. We are already soaked from the rain and I wonder how the weather can change this quickly. "Stay with me." I can see the pain and need in his eyes and I run towards him. I practically jump on him and capture his lips in mine. He seems a little startled at first, but not enough to have a hijacking attack. Soon his lips move against mine, seeking comfort and understanding. I am happy to provide this for him. I will do anything to make him feel better right now. He backs up and lifts me up the porch steps and into the house. Somehow our lips never break contact. The door slams behind us and our kiss deepens. The electricity flowing between us is waking up something I haven't felt in a long time; fire.

And this is why I love Peeta. He can bring out my fire even when I think it may be gone forever. He always knows what I need and I always know what he needs. I can feel his hands wrap into my hair and he leans back on the hallway wall. Eventually we both pull away to breath, but our foreheads press together and I can feel Peeta's breath on my face.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you," He returns quietly.

**Peeta POV **

Her lips feel cracked and dry; I can taste the ash and dust on them. I'm glad she stayed because I really need her right now. I've never felt more alone, but she makes me feel important. One of her hands brushes my curls off of my face gently. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall. All this time I had never thought about what had happened to my best friend. There was no way he could be alive. He could have been dead for months now. I just hope he didn't die alone. No one deserves to die alone, especially not Micah. I feel a tear running down my cheek and I look away from Katniss, hoping she wouldn't see.

"Don't cry," she whispers, rubbing the tear away from my cheek. "I hate it when you cry." I bit me lip and look at her. I press my lips to hers gently and she returns the kiss. "Do you really want to know?" She asks as she pulls away.

"What?" I mumble. She takes a deep breath.

"Do you want to know… what happened to him? To Micah." I close my eyes. Do I really want to know? Somehow I think it would be better if I knew for sure, so I can get past it someday; because if I don't find out I'll always be wondering if he really did survive. I'll always have that hope that will eventually be crushed.

"Yes." I say. "But how?" She takes a deep breath.

"I'll call Gale; ask him if he knows anything. Maybe he knows if Micah made it out of the fire. Or maybe he saw Micah in District 13. He knew almost everyone there." I can see the pain in her eyes. She was betrayed by her best friend. I know she feels like Prim's death was her fault, but she also blames Gale. He was the one who invented those bombs. She would never know for sure, but I think she's right. That bomb was Gale's. I could see how cold he had turned. He didn't care who he hurt anymore.

"You don't have to," I say quietly grabbing onto her hand. She shakes her head.

"But I will. For you," she whispers. I'm lucky. I'm so lucky that she loves me. She has no idea how much I love her. She walks over to the couch and sits down by the phone. She curls up and grabs it, dialing the number.

"It's kinda late Katniss, are you sure he will_" I start.

"Hello? Gale it's_" she sighs "It's Katniss." She listens to his response slowly, closing her eyes at one point. Its quiet and I can hear what he's saying if I listen, but I don't want to invade her privacy. "Gale," she sighs. But he keeps talking and I accidently catch what he's saying.

"Catnip, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know. How could I? The bomb might not have even been mine. It could have been one form the," he says.

"Gale!" Katniss says annoyed. "I don't care about this right now. Things haven't changed. I just need to ask you something." Gale is quiet, but I assume he says something I couldn't hear. "Do you know if Micah Hansen made it out of the bombing?" I wish I didn't hear what Gale said.

"This is for **him **isn't it?" Gale's voice cuts through the phone. Katniss rolls her eyes.

"So what if it is. He's important to me. I love him and he needs this and if you don't tell me I'll find out one way or another," she says menacingly. Gale says something on the other line and Katniss's face is blank. "What happened to him in 13? What pod was he assigned to?" He survived the fire. Micah didn't burn down with our little town. He had made it to 13. "The one that got…?" She asked quietly.

"Raided by the Capitol soldiers." My eyes close and I lean my head on Katniss's shoulder. One of her small hands comes up to my cheek, holding my head close. My eyes start to burn with the tears I'm holding back.

"What happened to him?" She asks. I don't want to hear this. I changed my mind. Katniss nods to the response I can't hear. "Okay. Okay. Bye Gale." She hangs up the phone and looks over at me. "Are you sure Peeta?" She asks. I know that he's dead now. If he wasn't she would have told me already. I nod, keeping my eyes closed.

"Tell me everything Katniss. Don't be nice. I want to know what happened to him." She grabs my hand and I take a breath before she starts.

"Micah was one of the few people from town to escape the fire. He wasn't at home when the bombs hit, he was delivering something for his father. Gale didn't say if they made it or not. The bombs hit and Micah followed all the Seam kids to the meadow. He made it to 13 and was put onto Pod 25 when the last battle was starting. They were on the frontline of the battle, all fighting, not playing around like us. The second night they were out the Capitol soldiers raided their camp sight.

From what Gale knows Micah had some serious injuries. They brought him back to District 13 and healed him up. They thought that he was going to be fine, but one night his body stopped functioning and his heart shut down. When they finally found the cause he had been gone for too long. They told everyone that it was a small needle in his back that had poisonous Tracker-Jacker venom in it." She smirked and rubbed her thumb on my hand gently.

"He's gone," I say quietly.

"He's gone." She agrees. I feel a few tears leak down my cheeks and I feel Katniss curling into me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close as she can get to me. "He's in a better place now Peeta." It is quiet as I lean my head down to rest on her shoulder.

"I know." We sit still until a thought crosses my mind. "I want to do something." I say. Katniss's eyes are caring and determined. She will help me.

KATNISS POV

We spent the night outside, digging a small hole. Then, as Peeta sat down with a rock and began carving words into it, I roamed around, looking for any flowers I could find. When I had a big enough bunch I tied them together with some thin bark strips and then walked over to where Peeta was standing. The hole was still empty, and I didn't know what he was going to place in it, but it didn't matter really. This was what we were doing to honor Micah. I walked up to Peeta. He stood motionless and I wrapped my arms around his waist. Only then did I see the picture in Peeta's hands. He was going to bury it. I felt my eyes stinging with tears, but I held them back. The rock was now lying at the head of the hole, a few words neatly scratched into it.

Micah Drew Hansen

Friend, Son, Neighbor

Peeta kneeled down and my arm slipped away. He sat now, on both knees and I crouched down to be with him. I watched in silence as he gently placed the photo into the hole. His voice startled me, even thought it was barely a whisper.

"Should we… say something?" He asks. His voice is shaking.

"I can sing. I remember the song they sang at my father's funeral. I could try to sing it." Peeta only nods. I stand, leaving Peeta to say whatever words he needs to say below me.

"_Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant stars. I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for a while to know your there. A breath away is not far to where you are. _

'_Cuz you are ours and we forever love you. Watching down on us form up above. And I believe that angels breathe and that you will live on and never leave. _

_Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant wish upon tonight to see you smile. Fly us up tonight, way beyond the stars. Fly us up to where you are tonight." _

It is quiet for a few seconds, completely quiet. No birds made any noise and I looked into the trees for them. I gasped when I saw the mockingjays. There were at least a hundred, sitting on the trees surrounding us. None of them were making any noise. They were all just sitting; watching us. I kneeled down next to Peeta. His blue eyes were bloodshot and I could see tear tracks on his cheeks. I grabbed one of his hands in both of mine. He looked at me and I looked up at the birds, sitting all around us. Peeta's eyes followed mine and slowly, as he looked around, all the mockingjays started copying my song. They sang it in beautiful harmony and I was positive the whole town could hear it.

Peeta and I stood up and said our last goodbyes and then walked back into his house. The mockingjays were still singing and they continued to sing while Peeta and I climbed into his bed and fell asleep in each other's arms. My dreams that morning were full of singing Mockingjays, Micah's joking smiles, and bright, swirling stars.

**That's it! Please Please Please review! Look out for the next chapters for both my Hunger Games stories!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi Everyone. I know I haven't updated this story in forever, but I am continuing with it. Here is the chapter! I know it's really short I'm sorry! I don't own the Hunger Games or its characters! Hope you like it!**

CHAPTER 6

KATNISS POV

When I woke up it was light outside. I sighed and began wonder how long we'd been asleep. I had finally managed to get my sleeping schedule back to normal and now it was messed up again. I rolled over in the bed, looking for Peeta. He wasn't there.

"Oh Peeta," I sighed. I slipped out of bed and pulled down on the shirt I had borrowed. It was at least five sizes too big. It stopped about mid thigh; still it made me feel a little self-conscious. I padded gently through the house, looking into all the rooms. I thought for sure he would be in his painting room, but the room was empty except for the bright light shining into it from the window. I walked down the stairs and into the living room and saw the porch door open. I walked out and looked into Peeta's backyard. I saw him then, curled up under a shady tree. This is the second time I've found him in his yard. He likes the outdoors, so I could see why he would come out here. It really is beautiful compared to my yard, which just faces the fence that leads out of the District.

I walk through the grass towards Peeta. As I get closer I can see he is crying, or at least shaking. I get down on my knees behind him and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Are you alright Peeta?" I ask gently. He's quiet for a second. Then I am thrown off of him. I gasp a little when I hit the ground. Peeta stands over me, angry tears in his eyes.

"You killed him," Peeta gasps. "You killed my best friend." I stand up, still a little out of breath.

"No, Peeta," I whisper, trying to grab his hand. "I didn't the Capitol did. They did this to you and they killed Micah." He blinks at me and then falls to his knees. His hands knot in his curls, pulling so hard I thought he might rip them out. I kneel down next to him and put my hands on his shoulder. "Peeta," I whisper gently. "Peeta, come back to me." I hear him whimper and I know that he's breaking through the haze of images. He is turning deathly pale.

"Katniss," he says. "The Capitol killed Micah, Real or Not Real?"

"Real," I say. Peeta grabs at his hair harder and moans.

"Katniss, I'm really dizzy," he says. I put my hand on his forehead to feel his temperature, but he swats it away.

"Don't touch me," he says. I pull away a little, moving my body away a few feet. He looks over at me with big eyes. His pupils are dilated; even through the sun is out. "I-," He stutters. "I'm sorry… just give me a second." I nod. His breathing quickens again and it takes all of my strength not to go to him. After a few more minutes Peeta opens his eyes. He is still a little shaky and very pale. I've never seen him have an attack this bad. Peeta opens his mouth as if to say something, but then closes it.

"Is it over?" I ask. You can hear my voice shaking and I clear it firmly. Peeta nods and scoots a little close to me. "Do you need me?" I ask. I look into Peeta's eyes. He nods and the blue rivers threaten to spill over again. I crawl a little closer to him and reach out my hand. Suddenly he pulls back and turns away from me. I start to think that the attack has come back but then he shudders and vomits into the grass. I sigh and crawl up behind him. I gently rub Peeta's back until he gets everything out. Then he turns around and leans his head on my shoulder. His forehead is burning up and it reminds me of our first Games.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm really sorry Kat. Sometimes they are really bad and I get sick."

"Don't apologize," I whisper, shaking my head. "It's not your fault; if anyone's it's mine." I brush through his hair gently and he leans into my touch. "You okay?" I ask. He takes a deep breath and nods "Sure?" I ask, gently brushing his curly bangs from his face.

"Sure," he says. "Help me up?" I stand up and hold my hands out to him. He grabs them and stands as I pull him up. He sways for a minute and I grab his arm firmly. "Just got dizzy," he mutters to me.

"Okay Peeta," I sigh. "Let's get you into the house." We walk slowly, hand in hand towards the house and up the back steps. I lay Peeta down on the couch in the living room and then head into the kitchen. "What do you want to eat that I can make?" I ask playfully. He smirks on the couch, elbows on the top with his head resting on his strong arms.

"How 'bout some toast sweetheart?" he teases back. "Can you handle that?" I roll my eyes at him and stick out my tongue.

"Yes," I say. I stick two pieces of bread into the toaster and walkover to sit next to him on the couch. It is quiet as I curl up against him. He wraps his strong arms around me and, for the first time in a while, I feel safe. I feel loved.

"Hey Kat?" He asks. I look up at him. His blue eyes sparkle with an unsaid question.

"Yeah?" I ask, grabbing one of his big, warm hands in mine.

"I-I kind of need your help with something," he says a little shyly.

"Okay, what?" I say right away. He smiles gratefully at me.

"I want to rebuild the bakery," he says gently. I smile at him.

"Of course I'll help you Peeta," I say, brushing his hair back. Peeta kisses my nose.

"Thanks." The toaster buzzes and I walk over to get his food. It burns the sensitive skin on my hands and I almost drop it as it sizzles against my skin. I find the cabinet where Peeta keeps his plates and put the pieces of toast on the old plastic plate. I walk over towards the couch where Peeta is curled up with his chin on his knees. All I could see was his back, but as I passed the side of the couch I saw that his eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open. He was asleep. I set the plate down on the table and walked down the hallway until I found his spare closet.

Peeta's house was the complete opposite of mine, all the rooms and storage closets in completely different places around the house. When I found the closest closet I opened it up. There was only one thing in it. A single wool-knitted blanket that looked like it was at least twenty years old. I grabbed it and made my way back to the living room. Peeta had sort of fallen over while I was gone. He still had his arms wrapped around his legs, but his head now rests on the arm of the couch. I smile down at him and place the blanket over him. I sit down on the carpet and lean my head against the couch cushion. I can feel Peeta's even breathing on the back of my head and, somehow, it calms me. Before I know it my eyes close too.

"Katniss." It's only a whisper, but it draws me out of my sleep. My eyes slowly blink open and I turn my head to look at Peeta. He is still sound asleep. I rub my eyes and sit up. My neck screams out in pain from being stiff for so long. "Katniss." I look around with wide eyes. Who is saying my name? Peeta is asleep, and he is not making any noise. I crawl away from the couch and look around it towards the window. There is a shadow. I stand up, my hands shaking. When it sees me moving towards it, it begins to back away. I move faster, towards the door. It halts, as if it's challenging me to come outside. I open the door and step out. It's gone.

"Where are you?" I cry out angrily. "What do you want?" I feel tears prick behind my eyes. The leaves behind me rustle and I turn. There's nothing there. "I know you're out here!" I scream. My voice sounds hysteric. "Leave me alone." The wind blows the leaves around me and I don't know where to look. To my surprise I feel hot tears running down my cheeks.

"Katniss," It whispers. The voice sounds almost evil. It is so quiet is wisps around with the wind.

"What?" I scream out. I sink down to my knees and put my face in my hands. That's when I smell it. It makes me gag. I look up to see a simple white rose lying in front of me. There is blood on the outside of the petals. Snow. I scream. I scream so loud I'm sure the whole District can hear me. Tears run down my face as I crawl backwards away from the rose. "No," I say. "No!" I don't hear his loud feet until he's right behind me. He sinks down to his knees and wraps his arms around me.

"Katniss," Peeta says frantically. "Katniss, what's wrong?" I turn towards him and curl into him. He puts his hand on my head and the other on my back. "Katniss, please! What is going on?" His eyes gaze into the yard and right past the rose. How can he see it? How is he not gagging on the smell? He just pulls me a little closer to him. "What's going on? What happened, baby?"

"I-I fell asleep," I gasp. "And I woke up a-and you were still s-sleeping." I take a deep breath and pull myself together. "Someone was saying my name. And I kept looking around and saw a shadow outside the back door. When I went towards it, it backed away." I feel my heartbeat quicken and my eyes start to sting again. "I heard it all around me. And I kneeled down and put my hands in my face. And then I smelled the rose. I didn't see or feel anyone come up. It was just there and_" I say.

"Okay, okay, okay," Peeta says, putting his hands on my face. I feel him wipe away my tears. "It's alright Katniss. Where's the rose? What did you do with it?" I whip my head up and look to the patch of grass where the rose was. Peeta was right. It was gone. Had I imagined it?

"Peeta, am I crazy?" I ask. He laughs, but there is no humor in it.

"I don't know," he says. His eyes are truthful. I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears that are burning into my eyelids. "But if you are than so am I. We have been through so much that we could both be crazy for all I know." I nod against his chest. We are crazy, broken, and scared. But we are not alone.

**That's it! Please Please Please review! Look out for the next chapters for both my Hunger Games stories!**


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